Taught Day 2 of a natural childbirth class today and was brought back several times to the days when I was expecting one of my babies and how, especially with the first, it was so exciting, full of fear, full of joy and there was a bit of hubris involved as well. I’ll be honest. I thought I was so smart. So well-prepared. Well, if you’re a parent, you know that having a baby, as one of my clients said, knocks you off your feet and right onto your ass. Hard. Yup, it does.
I was as well prepared as my best clients are now…took every class, had my doula, read all the best books. But bringing that baby home was hard. Yes, it was sweet. She was perfect. My breasts took a couple months to work correctly but I got through it and so did she. It took months to heal from her birth but I’m okay now (with a little help from my chiropractor).
And it’s been almost 12 years. I’ve learned more about birth, breastfeeding and parenting since then. I had another baby since then (and learned more about myself through her birth as well). The best thing I’ve learned is that I learn something new about every day, especially related to parenting and getting to know myself. I do miss the anticipation that I felt when waiting to find out who exactly I was carrying in my belly.
But now I wait each day to see how my kids are developing into the people they are becoming and also to see how I’m growing as well. Middle-aged mama but developing a little bit more just the same.